Review: St Damien's Choir

Uh, wait. One sec. Why's my name of a list? Oh, there we go.
          Yes, I, as a musical student, was invited to a talent-scout-induced concert in which ten students from St. Damiens School came up on stage and sang some songs that weren't intended for a choir. Here we go.
          The first song was "Shine" by Take That. The song choice is a logical one; a song designed for four men does logically extend to ten, and the voice variation allowed for a wide variety of notes that couldn't be created by the piano backing. When they finished, I thought they had done a good job, although the last few shouts of the chorus were less singing and more whiny shouting.
          Then there was the, er, more illogical choice of "Haven't Met You Yet," by Michael Bublé. My first reaction was, Why does it make any sense for ten boys of varying vocal range and quality to sing a song sung by one very good Canadian? It doesn't, but despite some jarring discreapancies, it stood as adequate entertainment. After that finished, the overly posh music teacher from St. Damien's did some... wait for it... MASS PARTICIPATION! You heard me right, folks! Why is it that every educational event thinks that what people under 16 want is to uniformly chant and clap?!?! "coughs"
          Anyway, so then she said, "And now a final song," and I thought, this could be at least pleasant. Then she said that only three of them knew the song. I thought it could work, three singers isn't the end of the world. And then the piano bloke started, and it was a very strange. And then they started singing. It felt like the world was ending. I knew those lyrics. This was, "I'm a Believer," by the Monkees, a cherished part of my younger childhood. And they were not only singing with the wrong notes, they were also whining it instead of singing. This wasn't singing. This was criminal.
          One and a half songs out of three isn't bad. For the very little practice they admitted doing, and the fact that the oldest one there was 14, they had a high quality. But from a more objectified analytical standpoint (ooh big words) it just doesn't cut it.

Thanks.