Review: Merlin 5.12-13: The Diamond of the Day

I'm sorry. I'm emotional right now, and I shouldn't really get emotional at a show like Merlin. I was never particularly fond of it, but it was like that little nick you have in the edge of your desk that you're not quite sure is very good for your writing surface but that you feel a bit empty without. I never expected Merlin to be good but I did have this tiny niggling hope that it would all turn out in the end. I can, of course, trust these asshat writers to completely dash that hope, and while in some respects this finale was everything we've asked for, in others it was a cop-out of truly epic proportions that has made sure this seires will go the same way as its spiritual predecessor, the terrible Robin Hood.

Merlin gets old for no reason.

     Morgana, now in the knowledge that Emrys has been Merlin this whole time, marches her forces towards the battlefield of Camlan, where Arthur is prophecised to die. She's used a magic slug to suck away Merlin's powers, forcing him to leave the battle and go to the Crystal Cave. There he has a chat with his spirit Dad and, while watching Arthur's forces go bravely to Camlan, he looks into the light and is recharged as an old man for some reason. On the battlefield, Mordred stabs Arthur with a magic sword and gets Excalibur to the gut in return, but Merlin's deus ex machina isn't in time to save him. He ages down and explains to Arthur all about his magic. As they try to make their way to a place where Arthur can be healed, Arthur slowly comes to terms with Merlin's loyalty and bravery over the past five series. They meet Morgana, whom Merlin stabs with Excalibur, but then despite Kilgarrah's help, Arthur dies in Merlin's arms and Gwen becomes Queen. And then Merlin is a hobo in the Present. Or something.
     Morgana and Mordred worked well together, but their characterisations were completely shoved to the side to make way for the main plot. I was suprised that Merlin has never done the "protagonist loses his powers" thing before, and I was a bit disappointed that it couldn't have had an episode of its own to pan out instead of being sidelined into the end Prophecy, which itself hasn't had the right buildup because of that stupid four weeks of Brainwash!Gwen.
     Merlin telling Arthur was, I'll admit, well done. Arthur reacted how he really would react in that situation, and it was good to see them smoothing over their own ignorance of character development so that Arthur could finally come to appreciate all that Merlin has done for him. It seems an eon ago that this was a cheesy monster-of-the-week show in the vein of Smallville, and this was the confirmation of just how far Merlin has come. And then, then there was something else. Something that told me the exact opposite.
     There were many ways for Merlin to end. The one we all expected, the one that made the most sense, was the one in which Arthur would go on to rule, with Merlin by his side, and create a more free and just kingdom for all. It's something we've taken as granted over these past five years, that while the plot may be swerving away from the Legend, that we'd always end up there by this episode. The writers don't know when to just do what needs to be done, and so for whatever stupid reason, they chose to end the series by having Arthur die and Merlin live forever watching over his body. And that really, really just angered me to the point of blind rage.

Morgana gets a pretty shit death, to be honest.

     I was fine when Lancelot snuffed it. When Mordred randomly grew up far faster than he should have. I was ok when Uther's death was handled in the worst possible way, and I was less annoyed when Merlin himself went out of his way to stop Magic being accepted. But to end the series with Arthur dying, with the added circumstance that he is pretty much gone forever, and that Gwen will reign and will probably have the same views on magic that Arthur had... it's pretty much the biggest fuck you that the writers could come up with without actually saying it.
     After five years, I'm glad to say that the finale was, for the most part, enjoyable. It had good characterisations, good story, nice themes... until, regretfully, the last ten minutes. Those last ten minutes took everything I ever liked about Merlin and threw it all away, choosing to go out on an ending that was less appropriate than anything that LOST or Ashes To Ashes could ever accomplish. The end of the BBC's series of high-quality, Saturday tea-time Family Dramas has come at the cost of the last bit of integrity that Merlin ever had, and it's a horrifically tragic way for it to go.

Thanks.

Review: Merlin 5.11: The Drawing of the Dark

Kara forms the catalyst for the episode's atrocities.

It's a weird experience, to be honest. Never before in this series have I so hated its primary protagonists. But this episode, and many others, show us that at least by today's standards, Merlin, Arthur and Gwen are all horrible, horrible people. In fact, most of the characters in this week's episode, bar Mordred, made incredibly dodgy and/or stupid decisions. It's taken longer this series for me to start rooting for the villain (it took three episodes in Series Three, if you remember), but I'm afraid to say that the time has finally come.
     A druid girl called Kara has offed some traders in the woods, and when the knights search for her Mordred lets her go, as she's his childhood sweetheart. Merlin, who's being an ass this week, is unnecessarily confrontational about the whole thing and later pretty much leads Arthur to her out of spite. It turns out that she, quite rightfully, is a bit pissed off at Camelot's long history of murdering magicians. Pointing out that he wouldn't have done anything had she not just committed murder, Arthur sentences her to death. Mordred, having picked up on Merlin's douchebaggery, is distraught and tries to convince Arthur to let her go. When he refuses, he goes to set her free and run away with her. Not content to just fuck up once, Merlin tells Arthur of Mordred's plan and both end up incarcerated. When Arthur offers Kara the chance to repent, she spits it in his face and everyone gathers round for a good old-fashioned decapitation. Sick and tired of the wtfery, Mordred breaks out and heads off to Morgana, revealing to her that Merlin has been Emrys all this damn time.
     At one time in Merlin's history, I could have been forgiven for thinking that Arthur and Gwen were fundamentally good people bound by an unfortunate dogma and that Merlin was hanging around them to try and change that dogma. But this past series has showed, if anything, that Merlin has simply become one of them; he has made little-to-no efforts this series to try and change the fate of magic users and has, on several occasions including in this episode, simply affirmed Arthur's views. Instead of the steady move towards change that should have happened, the writers have for some reason chosen to make it as unrealistic as possible for there to be a powerful magic reveal in these last two episodes.

I'm on Mordred's side now, you understand.

6 days ago

6 days ago

      And that fucking pisses me off, man. I want to like this show, I really really do. I've tried. When it's good, it's brilliant, but here we have one of the best episodes in a while and Mordred is so well written, but at the same time the protagonists we're supposed to be rooting for are cosily sitting down to watch an execution. I understand that it's the 12th Century and values are different, but no matter how verbally (and, when given the chance, actively) hostile Kara was, nothing good could ever have come from killing her. Now, as anyone could have predicted, you've not only got yet another magical casualty to add to Camelot's list, but an incredibly pissed off druid on the enemy's side.
      I stopped being objective with Merlin a long time ago, I know that. I don't think I'd have as much fun with Merlin as I do have if I wasn't raging at it every once and a while. But Series Five, after starting off in such a promising way, has been doing its best to frustrate me more and more each week. I don't know what's going to happen in the finale starting next week, but I know that whatever happens, Merlin isn't going to end in a way that will ever really satisfy its fanbase. And that's a sad, sad thing.

Thanks.

Review: Merlin 5.10: The Kindness of Strangers

Morgana is as fucking oblivious as ever.

I don't know why I bother with Merlin any more. Frankly it's a wonder I didn't give up back in Series Three. Why I'm so downhearted now is a bit more obvious, though, as we're three episodes away from the series' end and we're no closer to getting what we want. This episode promised a lot in terms of character revolutions, and we hoped that Morgana would finally work out that her nemesis, Emrys, has been Merlin all along. While this would be a bloody perfect time for that to happen, it failed to materialise and, as a result, we're still stuck in a semi-stagnant state.
     Old monk Alator, from all the way back in The Secret Sharer, made a return appearance this week as Morgana's torture victim. Luckily for Merlin, the great Scottish monk didn't give up the ghost and was summarily executed in a way which suggests that Morgana could have killed the entire court of Camelot if she didn't spend so much time procrastinating. Unluckily for Merlin, he did manage to get himself mixed up in the affair's of Alator's last diciple whom, after spending half the episode getting chased by Arthur's men, almost gets Merlin captured by Morgana, giving up her life in the process. Merlin gets rescued by Kilgarrah, who reveals that he's going to die and Merlin's deus ex machina won't work any more, and the message that Alator has passed on turns out to just be another repetition of the prophecy at this series' beginning.
      It's so frustrating that even at this ridiculously late stage, episodes like this can still exist. It was clearly trying to do something, but all it really did was set the series back on course after it's four-episode day trip the past. I really don't think that the writers know what they're doing with the series. Reading back, I expected that Morgana would learn of Merlin's nature back in Series Four, not this close to the show's demise. And she's still none the wiser, and it's frankly insulting to us as an audience. It's basically holding food and water over a starving child and yanking it away as they grasp upwards, and it isn't fun any more, it isn't enjoyable. This isn't suspense or intrigue, this is effing frustrating writing.

"Must disobey Gaius, even though he probably knows
what he's doing."

     There're only three episodes left to go now, but Merlin at the moment has taken me to Torchwood Four levels of annoyance and apathy. I will have to cover those episodes, if only to see whether this three-year exercise (five year if you count the series I haven't review) has all been worth it. This week proved that the writers really need to book up their ideas, and soon, or Merlin will probably go down as one of the most disappointing series finales this side of LOST. My apologies if this review has been a little mopey. But that, unfortunately, is just what reviewing Merlin does to me these days.

Thanks.