From The Archive: Audenshaw Reviews (An Introduction)

Back in January, our English class had to write a speech about something that would entertain everyone else. While this wasn't the speech I went with in the end, I thought that you might find it interesting. Some of the information is obviously incorrect, but I think that's fine.
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About two years ago, my parents took me to a one-hundred-year celebration of Gorton’s acceptance into Manchester. I was a little bitter, and I really didn’t enjoy myself. There’s just something about firework displays, I suppose. I’m not really a fan of standing in the cold trying to decide whether to feel worse about the growing tinnitus or the numbness of one’s hands. And I was angry. But it was that night, after I’d been forced into going to this display, that I began a hobby that has lasted me up until and after the present day.

How did I express my anger? I waited. I didn’t shout at my parents, I didn’t write passive-aggressive Facebook statuses. I wrote a review. Not a very good review, mind – the syntax is horrible and there are several spelling mistakes. But that review, what I called, the Gorton 100, led me to do some more writing. Just to see. Just to see whether this writing stuff could go anywhere. So I reviewed the school play. I reviewed the military band, I reviewed the Halle Orchestra. And I loved it. I loved it so much, that I created an online blog to write in. And, since I thought that it’d be about school, why not call it Audenshaw Reviews?

At first I had no idea what to review. Books? They were out of the question – who was I to offer a literary critique? Music? I knew nothing about that. The only thing I could remember was that there was ternary form and binary form and I had forgotten the difference between the two. So Music was out of the question. And then, after about a month – after a review of Lidl and Primark (they didn’t go down well) – I had a brainwave. What do I, of all people, do the most? I watch TV. I knew something about Tv. About Form, and Structure, and Tone, and Characterisation. I didn’t know a lot, but I knew what I liked. I wasn’t the best writer in the world, but I stuck at it. I reviewed the TV that I liked to watch the most  - Doctor Who, Red Dwarf, Lost.

This talk was going to be on Lost, but I thought this would be more interesting. Judging by the looks on your faces I was wrong.

You may not have thought that this talk was interesting or even relevant, but this is a hobby close to my heart. It’s been a constant to me – a part of my life over the past two years that I could always depend on. I think that it's healthy, even necessary, to find something in your life that's yours to enjoy, and yours to improve. My name’s Archie, and I’m the author of Audenshaw Reviews.

Thanks.